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Thursday, July 23, 2009

REAL LOVExO.

It seems like everyday my love for him gets even deeper. I not only love him with all my heart, but also my mind, body and soul. He is my everything, and has everything i need. He loves me from the inside out, and loves me with all my flaws. My dad once told me "Kiara you need to find someone you know for a fact will take care of you, someone that will be there to help you out when you need someone most." I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that Dj is that one. We've been through a lot of things together and somehow no matter how bad or good the situation, we always get back together. Our chemistry and love is just inexplicable. No one really gets it but us, but that's fine with me. Even though there isn't a ring on my finger yet i still call him my husband, but I cant wait until the day when we'll both share the same last name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Saturday, July 18, 2009

It's been a while..

 

i know i havent written in a while, but  I dont always have the time. well, here's the latest, i finally graduated highschool! I'd waited for that moment for a long time. Eventhough i thought i was going to, i didn't cry at my graduation like the others. It took me a while get use to the fact that i was finally out of school. I remember telling several people before I left," i will never miss this place". After being out of school for only three months i see how much i really do miss it. I guess what I meant to say was that I wouldn't miss the ignorant drivers or the stupid school rule"No Hoods!" I do miss all my teachers that I had throughout my years, i'd have to say that i did in fact have many good ones. I will also miss my two bestfriends that I left behind. They were there for me through anything, anytime i needed them, they were there. I hope we never lose contact, because I would love to see where we will all be in the future.

* next, the love situation.

I've been struggling for a while on a decision about this whole love situation. I'll tell you and then you tell me what i should do. Before I moved to Ga i had a boyfriend, his name was matt. We had been together freshman year for about four months then he broke it off. He said that it was because he was young and not ready for a relationship, so that's why he ended it, i guess that is understandable. It took me a whole year and three months to finally say that I was over him. I swear I think guys have radar, because shortly after i got over him he wanted me back! It seems like they always come back when you got something good going, right? Well he wanted to get back together sophmore year, but I didn't want to, then he tried junior year, but I didn't want to then either. Senior year finally came around and he was still trying, so I fnally told him that I would think about it. While I was going through this I had something else to think about. There was this kid named Dj. I had loved this kid from the moment i layed eyes on him. He was my first love. We known eachother for about 9 years, and we've been off and on for about 7 years. Yes, i know that is a long time. Well, when i moved down to Ga he had a girlfriend. It hurt my heart so bad, but I couldn't complain because i had someone else too. Not long after I moved to Ga, I had broke up with matt after only being with him for a couple of weeks. I was also thinking about what happend last summer, when I cheated on my boyfriend at time with Dj. Please do not ask, it's a long story.  Both my parents really liked matt, that was the first time i could ever get them to both agree on a guy for me. Why is it that they always like the one you dont have that much feelings for? Both my parents dislike Dj. I just wish they would like him as much as I love him. He is a really great guy. He always takes care of me whenever he can, he is there for me all the time. I think that the reason why my dad doesn't like him is, because he was the one who took my virginity. I also think it's because he wears baggy pants, but what guy doesnt these days. All the ones i go for usually dress like that, I guess you can say that's my "type." I was told "Dont judge a book by it's cover", but isn't that what he's doing? If he got to know Dj he would see that he is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet,despite his hard exterior. I really hurt me today when he told me to tell my mom hi, and she replied " Your not even suppse to be near him!" She made him seem like a criminal or something.She didn't know i had her on speaker phone when i called. I could tell by the look on his face that he was hurt. I tried to tell him not to worry about it, but he was just to hurt to let that go. He sent me a text message back saying '' How can i not? I want to marry marry you oneday, but neither one of your parents like me, so how am i suppose to feel?" After he said that I really didnt know what to say. I felt so bad, but the worst part is she meant it, and she wasn't going to say sorry. He just wanted to be nice, and that's what he got in return. I just dont get it. He came all the way to see me, and he was going to talk to my dad, and my dad refused to talk to him! I'm telling you right now, i refuse to let my parents ruin one of the best things i got going on in my life!


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

 


UGH &#$(&$!

I finally figured out how to do this whole XANGA thing again.

I took a long time...but i finally got it. I'm not updating all the info until later..i'm tired now

Okay I need to get this off my chest thou so i don't keep on thinkin about it so much. I love my mom dearly but lately i have not been able to stand her. I get yelled at even more now..you would swear i was a bad kid by the way i'm always in trouble..but i'm startin to wonder..like is there something wrong with her?...Is she going throu somethin really bad but she just doesn't wanna tell anyone..I don't know but what i do know is i'm ready to get the hell up outta here and go to college cuz I can't deal with her attitude anymore..ever since we moved in with my stepdad she has just changed so much..&& i hate it. When i was little we use to be sooo close...but now we can't be around eachother more than an hour without gettin pissed off at one another. It's just so crazy.

 

.xoxo.


Friday, October 17, 2008

This New Xanga Is So Confusin

I'm not new to xanga...I just haven't been able to get on for a while..I think they deleted my old username..so i made a new one. I been goin throu alot lately..so i figured this would be good way to kinda..gather my thoughts..

 I was pretty upset when i found out that Xanga has changed just about everything..I found the cutest layout...but i didn't even know how to put it on my page..after tryin numerous times..i just gave up. So now i have this one..it's okay i guess..








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